There’s no cure for stupid- Part II (the lighter side)
Last year over 100 air travelers brought guns with them to Lambert St.Louis Airport that were confiscated while going through security and, further, over 80 of them were loaded! (I can only imagine what these numbers are in Texas!).
I’d like to assume that most of these folks did not intend to hijack the plane or actually use their weapon on the excursion. And I’ve got to believe that the vast majority of these derelicts knew that they weren’t allowed to carry a loaded firearm onto a commercial plane. Even if they came from a small town in Missouri or one of the many other gun-toting counties of these heavily-armed United States where carrying a gun around is as common as a purse or wallet the airport security area contains numerous signs alerting passengers to this restriction. And then there’s that thing you have to walk through to get to your gate – a body scanner and metal detector!
So what exactly WAS going through these folks’ minds? Did they think they owned a special gun that was undetectable on X-ray? Did they simply forget they had their gun in their pocket or carry-on (like Steve Martin in the famous SNL skit where he explains why he has never paid taxes – he simply forgot)? Did they not care if they were caught, had their prized gun confiscated and faced the prospect of a criminal charges? Perhaps they were anticipating another decision from the newly constituted gun-loving Supreme Court that might exonerate them and even proclaim that everyone could now carry guns on planes – just as our forefathers intended when drafting the Second Amendment? Whatever their thought process it emphasizes just how extremely stupid some people can be.
The folks who travel by car are no better. The increasing number of drivers who I see who drive at near triple digits on the highway and who weave back and forth between lanes coming right to the edge of another car before swerving into the adjacent lane with little regard for their or others’ lives is shocking. At the other extreme are those folks who feel the necessity to stop on the highway and cause traffic to back up for miles every single time there is an accident – apparently because they just want to get a gander at the wreckage and perhaps (if they’re lucky), the poor folks who have been injured or killed. Naturally an accident can stop traffic legitimately for a while to enable emergency vehicles to tend to the injured and clear the wreckage, but long after that has been accomplished, the traffic almost always remains blocked because of the curious dimwits among us.
Turning to finance there are lots of folks who have little clue – who buy stuff that they will never use or at a ridiculous price or based on an informercial that is rarely as represented. But perhaps the biggest stupidity offenders are those who spend large sums on credit cards and then fail to pay off their balance each month, allowing the banks to charge them massive fees and an exorbitant interest rate. There are undoubtedly some folks who are desperate and haven’t figured out an alternative way to pay for things they need during a crisis and can only think about the present in order to survive. But the vast majority of people in this predicament are either buying stuff that isn’t essential and that they can’t afford, or can afford the merchandise but decide nevertheless to only pay the “minimum amount” and pay what can amount to double for the privilege of using a credit card.
And let’s not forget the many economic fools who believe that their tax accountant (or service) is good or bad based on whether they get a tax refund for the year- the larger the refund, the better the accountant. Getting a refund by definition means that you paid too much in taxes during the year and thus gave the U.S. Government a tax-free loan of this amount for the duration of the year.
Further compelling evidence of the stupidity of society are the many people who select a lawyer (and sometimes even a doctor these days) based on a 30 second commercial or billboard ad. Choosing a lawyer (and certainly a doctor) is among one of the more important decisions you can make in your life and shouldn’t be decided in the same way as whether to buy a Whopper or a Big Mac. Anyone who is persuaded to select a lawyer based on the fact that their phone number is all 3’s or 4’s and that it’s easy to remember is frankly not very smart. The law firm that advertises in that manner and spends millions to secure that phone number and paste it all over billboards, buses and TV ads may be successful and appear smart but only in the way that Donald Trump is successful and considered “brilliant” by many- they both have simply recognized that there are lots of idiots out there and know how to take advantage of them. And don’t get me started on the folks who actually believe the b.s. tag line from many plaintiff contingency lawyers suggesting that their service is somehow “free.”
On the medical front, I am baffled by people who find things like a massive mole on their body that’s dark, irregular in shape and growing and say, “Well that’s nothing or I’ll deal with that in a few years.” Skin cancer is real and kills thousands of folks each year, including many young people. Recently it took a hockey fan sitting behind the bench at an NHL game to point out to a team’s equipment manager (via a sign pressed up against the glass) to tell him that that the mole on his neck was likely cancerous and that he needs to check it out. He did. It was. And she probably saved his life.
Finally in the more amusingly stupid category are the millions of folks who pledge at their wedding to “have and to hold this person from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part”- and then go on to make this same pledge to multiple successor partners. Sure people make mistakes and their opinions about marriage or their spouse may change over time (especially after the love of their life makes love to another) which explains why only about half of marriages last until the “death do us part” part. Some might even suggest that humans, like many in the animal kingdom, are not meant to be monogamous or to be married to one person for the rest of our lives. Danielle Steele and Billy Bob Thorton are certainly believers of this principle having been divorced 5 times each. Larry King and Zsa Zsa Gabor broke their respective vows 6 times, Elizabeth Taylor on 7 occasions and Lana Turner a rather incredible 8 times. That’s their business.
But why include this promise in the wedding vows, especially among those who know from past experience that the chances they will break it are really high? Folks who pledge lifelong loyalty to a different person over and over are either fraudsters, delusional or outright stupid. I will assume the latter.
