The Golden Betty Roth
Today would have been the 86th birthday of my dear friend, Betty Roth. I don’t understand why many people and religions choose to celebrate the anniversary of one’s death rather than their birth, but I choose the latter.
I was privileged to give a eulogy for Betty when she passed away several years ago. She was a very special lady to put it mildly. I miss her smile and laugh and so many other things about her. A short tribute never does adequate justice to a person’s life but below was my effort to capture who she was and what she meant to many, which I provide to help keep her alive in the thoughts of those who knew her. To those who didn’t, this will give you a small flavor of what she was all about, which I hope will serve as an inspiration for your own life.
Eulogy of Betty Roth
With apologies to Led Zeppelin for changing their epic song slightly: There’s a lady I’m sure who glitters like gold and she’s buying a stairway to heaven.
Betty Roth was pure gold- as precious and valuable as any person I have ever met. She shined light and love on all who crossed her path with that infectious laugh of hers, her unparalleled kindness, and her zest for life.
But Betty could also be tough as gold. She may have tipped the scales at 100 pounds (and that was soaking wet) but she packed a powerful punch when she needed it- like the Hawaiian Punch that was regularly stocked in her fridge.
Betty did not care about material possessions- she lived in the same house for over a half of century and drove the same basic car for decades (very fast down Lisa Drive I might add). What she cared about was people and nothing was more important to her than taking care of and protecting her family.
Betty’s love, devotion, and energy for them was legendary. She never seemed to sleep. When I “looked to the West” from my house on Nantucket where I grew up I could see the light on in Betty’s kitchen at 2 a.m. I knew she was up baking her next day’s batch of famous chocolate chip cookies. All was right in the world at that instant.
And no one I have ever met had a bigger heart of gold than Betty. The devotion that she had for Reuven (her autistic grandson) – patiently handling the most difficult of situations with such unconditional love, was truly one of the most impressive things I have ever seen.
In recent years, it was heartwarming to see her family take such great care of her, as she had always done for them- David and Shelly, Jeff and Deena, and especially Marcia (the most loyal sister one could possibly have). But I was especially impressed and proud of Yonah who regularly spent the night at her house, so he could be with his Grandma and help her in any way that he could before the start of school, even though that meant he had to get up for school at 6 a.m., Betty’s unselfishness and compassion for others has been passed on to him and to her other children and grandchildren.
On a personal level, I spent much of my childhood at No. 3 Lisa Drive, as did many other friends of Jeff and David. The Roth house was the place to hang out and much of that had to do with Betty. Everyone was always welcome at her house and was treated like royalty. I was also a frequent guest at the traditional Sunday night family dinners where Betty would serve massive amounts of food. Fred would wait until she had plopped down her final 10th item on the table and, like clockwork, would ask: “Is that all you’ve got Betty?” Fred would then proceed to regale us with great stories about his legal cases, and other more racy activities, with Betty always smiling in the background. “Oh Freddie” she would say. The banter between them was what marriages should be about.
While the visits became less frequent once I had a family of my own, she was always in my heart and when I saw her she would greet and hug me with such warmth and we would talk at length. In nearly 50 years of knowing Betty, spanning thousands of hours, I can honestly say that she always had a smile on her face and never had a cross word for me (well… except for the time I put gerbil food in Jeff’s pancakes- but I deserved it).
Betty helped raise me, she took care of me, and always treated me as if I was her own child. I cannot adequately express how grateful I am to her for everything she has done for me and for giving me a lifelong amazing best friend in her son Jeff.
Far more valuable than gold, Betty was priceless to all who had the privilege to know her. She taught us how to live- with grace and laughter and passion and love and dedication to those you care about.
If there is anyone in this world who deserves a stairway to heaven it is Betty Roth. She earned her way there. I pray sweet lady that you are at peace and finally back with Fred sitting around the dinner table. Or perhaps at the beach in Acapulco. Or better yet enjoying a tennis match at Wimbledon, reveling in each other’s company.
