Taking the Super out of the Super Bowl
One week ago today approximately one hundred million of us gathered with varying degrees of enthusiasm to witness our country’s “biggest sporting contest” involving the two “best” teams from the most financially successful league in the Universe (every one of its teams is among Forbes’ 50 most valuable sports franchises in the World). Advertisers lined up to pay more than 5 Million dollars for a 30 second chance to impress us and buy their products.
While many advertisers fell flat on their faces, their failure paled in comparison to that of the combatants on the field. One team put on such a pathetic performance in the first half that they managed to punt all six times they had the ball, rack up a beginners level 47 yards of total offense, and score ZERO points! It only got slightly better for them in the second half, failing to score a single touchdown in the game.
The other”winning” team barely eked out a single touchdown, and not until the 4th quarter. It wasn’t that the defenses were impenetrable – both teams had below average defenses throughout the year (19th and 21st) and there were ample opportunities on both sides to make offensive plays throughout the game – but interceptions, missed wide-open receivers, and other poorly-thrown balls along with shoddy play-calling produced a game more worthy of the moniker “The Toilet Bowl.”
And yet, I must say, I enjoyed this futility thoroughly.
As a St. Louisan, I could not embrace a team owned by a man named after the City’s most iconic and ethical sports hero who betrayed his example and the city and state that raised him. And he left the Lou not because of lack of interest or because he was losing money (his team was valued by Forbes at $1.5 Billion dollars before he left) but because he could make more money (as any team would) by moving to the second largest market in the country – meaningless bucks to man married to a Walmart heir and worth billions that he can’t possibly spend in his lifetime or take with him when he is under ground. He was recently praised by the Washington Post for taking no public money in building the largest and most lavish stadium in the world in LA ( with a price tag of $5 Billion!). Yet, the esteemed paper neglects to mention that he left St.Louis precisely because he deemed the City ‘s offer of hundreds of millions of dollars in public money insufficient.
At the same time, I could hardly embrace the team that embraces clam chowder. Not only have they had more success as a franchise in the last decade than any team should in a league that cares about competition, but they have a long history of shady tactics and cheating to help achieve those results – be it surreptitiously recording another team’s practices (for which they were fined and so remorseful and deterred that they did it again before the last Super Bowl between these very teams), improperly deflating footballs so they were more to the liking of their star quarterback, or using banned performance enhancing drugs. Indeed, the best player in this year’s Super Bowl, and arguably the ONLY offensive player who displayed any skills remotely close to “super,” was the Patriots wide receiver and game MVP Julian Edelman. As impressive as it is to see a 5 foot 10 guy dominating among giants, Edeleman blew the coveted underdog role when he was busted for using PEDs earlier in the year. Under the lax NFL rules that drew a paltry 4 game suspension- had he been a baseball player he would have been ineligible for the game. Perhaps the score would have mercilessly been 3-3 instead.
And then there is the beloved NFL – a collection of some of the finest (I mean most greedy and despicable) human beings on this earth. Despite their enormous wealth, they shamelessly demand huge public handouts and concessions from financially strapped cities if they wish to have the “privilege” of hosting their teams’ games eight days a year. After a while they demand more money and newer and fancier stadiums or they leave (See Cleveland, Baltimore, Houston, San Diego, Oakland, Los Angeles, and St.Louis-twice). Sometimes, even when the cities capitulate and agree to the owner’s extortion they leave anyway because they decide that can make more money elsewhere.
There is also the small matter of the League’s responsibility for the serious injury and death of numerous young men by hiding the dangers of concussions from them, distorting the evidence and even manufacturing false “scientific” evidence to attempt to extend the charade as long as possible. The current Commissioner once said with a straight face that there was no proof of any connection between concussions and a host of neurological problems, and an NFL committee which “studied” the problem for over a decade incredibly argued that there was no greater chance of a repeat concussion to a player who has one and re-enters the game. The goal: delay, mislead and obfuscate. It reminded me of the tobacco CEOs all claiming that cigarettes are not harmful or addicting.
Only when the Commissioner was forced to appear before Congress – tobacco style – did his and the NFL’s tune change. The League ultimately settled the massive concussion litigation brought by thousands of injured players for peanuts relative to their exposure – a proposition that the players were essentially forced to take because of a quirky labor law exemption that arguably precludes lawsuits on any matter even tangentially related to a Collective Bargaining Agreement. This legal position was huge leverage for the League, since if successful, it would have resulted in a dismissal of the players’ factually legitimate claims with no recovery at all.
And then there is the NFL’s decade long opposition to legalized gambling, pretending that it would immeasurably impact the “integrity of the game”- as if the League or the Commissioner had any integrity. The truth is that in the absence of the billions bet on NFL games each year and fantasy football (clearly another form of gambling despite the League’s hypocritical assertion otherwise) many less folks would bother to watch the NFL (and their gravy-train TV package would be substantially reduced). After all, the actual action in an NFL game from whistle to whistle constitutes a mere 11 minutes or so of the 3 1/2 hours of “entertainment.” How many folks would care to watch Jacksonville play Buffalo if there wasn’t some “action” involved? Or would continue to watch any game that wasn’t close in the third or fourth quarter if there wasn’t the point spread, the over-under, or one’s fantasy player to consider?
The NFL’s long-standing opposition to legalized gambling had nothing to do with integrity or protecting the game and everything to do with money. It’s not enough that these owners rake in $14 Billion in TV revenue each year, they want more. Now that the Supreme Court has held the federal ban on sports wagering unconstitutional, the League wants federal legislation that forces the casinos/sports books to give them a share – in the perfect world, a commission for every bet wagered.
So, anytime the NFL falls flat on its face or has a less than desirable PR day I rejoice. It doesn’t happen that often but the pathetic “Super” Bowl last Sunday was one such glorious occasion.
