Infatuation, Ramification and Reunification
I have a fascination with the Ations (words ending in “ation”). So I have written a comedic rap song that pays tribute to them. It’s on the silly side of life, but hey it’s a Friday of a holiday weekend so let your hair down!
If you can do rap well, it’s yours to perform professionally. Just please send me some of the royalties.
The Ations- An Education in Trial and Tribulation
I was about to go on vacation
with my girlfriend, a Haitian,
when I got a call from an ex-relation
who said she was in a state of desperation
She told me that she was stuck in a remote location
away from all civilization
with no drinkable water or vegetation
and was experiencing dehydration
and hallucination.
I would have liked some confirmation and verification
as she has a vivid imagination
and is prone to exaggeration.
My girlfriend assured me that this was a solicitation
and the product of manipulation, given my ex’s well known reputation.
She suggested that I contact the Federal Bureau of Investigation,
who could better assess the situation.
But my ex’s oration suggested that she was having genuine agitation
and I was concerned about the duration of her professed starvation.
She was also someone, I must confess, with whom I still had some infatuation.
And the FBI Director is now on a more permanent vacation.
So after much contemplation and deliberation
and against my girlfriend’s recommendation,
although not without some hesitation,
I went to my ex’s destination.
You can’t imagine her elation when she saw that I had brought vegetation and libation.
We had a big celebration
which ultimately led to copulation.
It brought such exhilaration
that I nearly required cardio-pulmonary resuscitation.
But that was the termination of my jubilation.
The ramification of my flirtation, it turns out, was insemination.
When my girlfriend learned about my procreation
there was a seismic reverberation.
In a fit of retaliation and
with no hint of notification,
or even an attempt at negotiation,
she wielded some sharp instrumentation
and caused a separation and bifurcation of my manly operation.
(That’s right, the big C- no not cancer stupid…castration.)
Talk about a painful sensation
with a giant exclamation!
Not to mention the extreme humiliation when the story was splashed all across the nation.
Thanks to advances in medical education
and timely refrigeration
I now have reunification
with my closely held corporation.
But the temporary amputation
has caused problems with elimination and
ensured my sterilization
and thus no further proliferation
of my philandering population.
This has been a great lesson in behavior modification:
Next time I have even the slightest temptation
to help out an ex-relation with whom I have an infatuation,
and there is the possibility of fornication
when I already have an affiliation,
especially with a Haitian,
you can rest assured that I will engage in lengthy reconsideration,
as well as painful visualization.
Photo Copyrights: Girl on Beach: happyalex,123rf.com; FBI DIrector: dima Photo, 123rf.com: Couple on beach with boat: Thanagon Srichanchom,123rf.com; Girl with knife: Chayantorn Tongmorn, 123rf.com; Organ Refrigerator: nosua, 123rf.com; ; Reflective man on beach: Edite Artman, 123rf.com