What’s with your Name?
A name is kind of important. For an individual it’s the first thing someone else hears about you, and studies routinely show that people draw conclusions about you pretty darn early. It’s also a word that you will hear hundreds of thousands of times in your life, and that you will write on every test, job application, e-mail and perhaps, depending on the name, prison entry form.
A name can define how you are perceived and treated by others. It can play a huge role in your self-esteem or conversely lead to ridicule, laughter and contempt. Given its importance, and the fact that people (Ok, parents) actually get a choice – it’s not like your height or quantity of hair or looks- I am mystified by the names that people come up with for their offspring.
There are names apparently designed to give the parents (though rarely the child) some laughs- like the Light family who actually named their son Bud, Former Texas Governor James Hogg who chose the name “Ima” for his beloved(?) daughter, and the Yoo family who decided to name their daughter Sue- she did actually become a lawyer with a technology company in California. Coincidence? And who can forget Frank Zappa’s presumably drug-induced selections of “Moon Unit,” “Dweezil,” “Ahmet Emuukakha Rudan,” and “Diva Muffin.”
Other foolish parents apparently give so little advance thought to a name that they must merely look to the nearest thing in the room at the time of delivery- like the mother who actually named her child Uteraz (not that surprised that she couldn’t spell). And then there are the folks who apparently have limited aspirations for their child – the parents who named their son Phelony comes to mind. Still others provide first names guaranteed to ensure that their child will be taunted and teased for the rest of their lives- like the Goff family that named their son Jack or the Hunt family that named their son Mike. In fact, I can’t understand how any parent who cares about the child would brand their kid Dick.
And some companies are no smarter. Most companies recognize how important a name can be to a business and spend a fortune on consultants to come up with a name and logo and to protect the name with trademarks, even initiating lawsuits designed to prevent others from infringing upon or diluting their name.
Other companies, however, appear to have given no thought to the name that defines them as an organization to the public. One corporate name that seems especially foolish to me is Fifth Third Bank. It’s actually a huge bank with over 1000 branches in at least 12 states.
There are lots of First Banks and derivatives of that name out there, which makes perfect sense, right? But why would you possibly want to be the Third Bank? And especially the “5th” Third Bank on top of that? What does that say about your company? To me it says that there have been four other versions of this bank that didn’t make it. I find myself wanting to know what happened to the Second, Third and Fourth Third Bank.
What customer says to himself I think I’ll put my hard-earned life savings in the Fifth Third Bank? Yeah I realize they have failed four times but they are bound to get it right one of these days, right? Why not just call themselves Enron Bank?
Then there is the company Seimens – a massive company that sells power distribution, drive technology, and low and medium voltage all across the planet. But is it really a good idea to name your company after a guy’s spunk? And sperm is no Michael Phelps- it takes an hour for one of these guys to swim a mere eight inches. Not exactly an impressive performance befitting a power company.
And what about the nicknames given to some sports teams? Most teams pick an animal that is strong and determined like lions, tigers and bears. Others pick an animal indigenous to the region where the team is located – the Florida Marlins, Texas Longhorns, and Boston Lobsters (a World Tennis Team, now defunct). And some choose a name that is symbolic of the area- the Colorado Rockies, Texas Rangers, and Utah Jazz (Huh?). A few small religious schools admirably aim for goodwill – The Centenary Gentleman, The Hofstra Pride, and the Concordia Preachers.
But others have selected names that are offensive to many and arguably racist. It wasn’t enough that we stole the land of the people who were here before us- we also need to mock them with mascots, war chants, and names of sports teams? See Redskins, Indians, Braves, Seminoles and such.
Then there is the University of Miami.
For the last several weeks the country has been focused on the horrific hurricanes that have bombarded Houston, Florida and Puerto Rico. Many people have died and many more have lost everything they had. Unfortunately, this is not exactly a new development to this part of the world- numerous hurricanes form in the Caribbean each and every fall wreaking havoc on residents who are routinely gripped with worry and fear, if not always utter destruction. Millions have had their lives ruined, if not ended, by them.
And yet the University of Miami, located in one of the cities most consistently at risk for hurricanes, somehow decided that it was a good idea to name its beloved sports teams after these devastating creatures of nature. Seems pretty insensitive to me. The same could be said for the San Jose Earthquake, the Colorado Avalanche, and the Talladega College Tornadoes.
Supporters of these names will undoubtedly tell me to just lighten up: Sports teams names are supposed to be tough, rugged and macho and this is all just in good fun. But to me this would be like a team from New York, a city with two million Jews, calling itself the New York Nazis. Sure, they were the most inhumane people perhaps to ever occupy the planet and yeah, they killed six million Jews, including women and children. But lighten up- sports team names are supposed to be tough and ruthless.
I really want to shake some of these people…
Copyright Photo: Odessa4,rf123.com
