Erectile Function
The advent of another professional and college football season means virtually nonstop games on the tube, lots of gambling and fantasy talk, and zombie-like stares from much of the male population when those who have little regard for the game dare to speak during the 11 minutes of actual action. But this time of year could also be described as the erectile dysfunction season.
Indeed, the most common commercials during football games for the last two decades have consisted of either: (1) an attractive woman draped in a football jersey seductively stretched across a bed begging for “companionship” (Viagra) or (2) a handsome couple holding hands, smiling intimately at one another, and then oddly appearing in separate side-by-side bathtubs, leaving it to the viewer to deduce what the heck happened or is somehow still going on (Cialis).
Judged by the number of ads, one might conclude that “ED” has eclipsed cancer and heart disease as our most pressing health concern. I have no doubt that there are men who genuinely need these products. But I also have to believe that a significant percentage of the estimated two billion dollars in annual sales each of Viagra and Cialis are from those just looking for a firmer and longer-lasting commitment- i.e. erectile super-function.
I appreciate that having erectile dysfunction can be hard (sorry, bad choice of words): There is the deleterious impact on the fragile male ego, the potential impact on a relationship, and, in some extreme cases, the inability to procreate. Serious potential concerns to be sure.
However, it occurs to me that the problems of the corollary proposition- erectile function– are arguably greater to society as a whole. Erectile function is responsible for much of male dysfunction; it’s an integral component of affairs that ruin marriages and disrupt families and it substantially impacts the nation’s productivity (even assuming the commonly reported contention that men think about sex every seven seconds is a massive exaggeration).
Most importantly, erectile function is an undeniable factor in causing an unsustainable growth in the population of the planet. In 1800 there were approximately one billion people. By 1930, the population had grown to two billion. It only took 30 more years to get to three billion and 15 years thereafter to reach four billion. Today the world’s population is over 7. 5 billion.
To put this in proper perspective there are twice as many people today than there were in 1970! And the Earth is adding 80 million new occupants every year. Many people are expanding their progeny exponentially without any regard to the limited resources and capacity of the planet or to the environmental impact of quadrupling the number of people living here.
While China’s policy limiting the number of children a family could have to only one (and then two) seemed harsh and extreme to many (it has since been revoked), why isn’t there any meaningful outcry about folks having mega children? Huge families were understandable in the day where having a lot of children was essential to the operation of the family farm and when there was little knowledge about the environmental impact. But knowing what we know now, having an actual boatload of children appears, at least to me, a bit selfish and even cult-like (excluding foster families and those who choose to adopt). People like the Octomom who had eight children from invitro-fertilization after she already had six kids deserve our scorn not celebrity status.
If everyone on the planet were to replicate her choice (or even a fraction of it), imagine the ramifications to the water and food supply, the impact on other creatures of life, and pollution. Moreover, the people that most consciously seek to grow their legacy these days by having double-digit children appear mostly to be members of extreme factions of religious groups. They tend to be folks who are the least tolerant of others and who appear to want to take over the planet – literally. When, for example, you hear stories about parents being “proud” of their son for having become a suicide bomber, I suspect that they rationalize their position, at least in part, by knowing that they have five other sons or can always just make another.
The bottom line is that as important as erectile function is to most men, the truth is that the world would likely be a better place with less of it. I can feel the intense hatred from the execs at Pfizer and Eli Lilly (not to mention many of my male counterparts and super religious friends).
Photo Copyright: nito500, 123rf.com
P.S. I understand that Viagra has cancelled its love affair with the NFL this year- it’s not that the NFL’s core audience no longer craves B-Pills. It’s just that the value and profitability of the drug has gone down considerably now that its patent has expired and generics can penetrate the market. Nothing like stiff competition.
