Mysteries of a logical mind
“It’s a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma!” (Woody Allen) HUSBANDS AND WIVES (1992)
I’m a logical dude. As a lawyer I routinely weigh and assess facts, consider assertions and counter-assertions, and try to come to conclusions that make logical sense. But sometimes I am just plain mystified. I will share five things that strike me as downright perplexing.
1. Mental health professionals naturally perform an important role for many in society and they are, after all, human. But why is it that they appear to have more mental and marital problems than the rest of of us? (Various studies I’ve seen and my own unprofessional assessment over the years dealing with them as a lawyer support this conclusion.)
One would expect that folks who spend their days helping others address their personality disorders, psychoses, and family dysfunction would be better equipped to avoid these problems themselves. Or, at least be in a superior position to recognize that they are beginning to lose it and seek help before their world starts crashing down on them.
I’m pretty sure that most orthodontists have better looking teeth, that the majority of dermatologists apply more sunscreen and have less skin cancer, and that gastroenterologists get their colons scoped more frequently on average than the public at large – I doubt that it’s because the GI docs like the experience but rather because they know what a bad outcome looks like if they don’t address the issue properly and in a timely manner.
2. In a similar vein in the law, why do divorce lawyers get divorced at a higher rate than the population at large? Having been exposed first-hand to the unsavory divorce process and its impact on children and one’s finances one would logically think that the experience would serve as a deterrent to divorce, as well as a cautionary tale on marrying the right person. But, once again, studies and my anecdotal experience suggests the opposite is true.
3. In the sports world, why are professional hockey players – who are, by general consensus, the nicest and most respectful of all professional sports athletes as a group when not playing hockey – so mean-spirited, badly-behaved and, sometimes, outrageously violent on the ice? In fact, it’s the only sport where teams refuse to disclose the nature of a player’s injury or even the body part involved – merely calling it an “upper body” or “lower body” injury – out of concern that an opponent will specifically target the injured body part. How cruel and unsportsmanlike is that?
Hockey is also the only team sport where punching someone in the face is not only allowed but actually encouraged, especially when a team is losing to try and change the momentum. (Great sportsmanship there!). And despite the lessons we bestow upon kids not to engage in fights in sports, fighting in professional hockey is celebrated like nothing else by most hockey fans and players alike – indeed, it is a tradition for all players on both teams to bang their sticks against the boards in unison after each fight to applaud the combatants for trying to beat the shit out of each other .
4. Staying with sports, why do most of the biggest cheaters in sport tend to be guys who are the best athletes and who really don’t need to skirt the rules to be great (Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, A-Rod, Lance Armstrong, Maria Sharapova, Marion Jones, etc.) rather than the folks on the cusp of making it or struggling to hang on to the roster who logically have far more incentive to cheat to make or stay in the big leagues? Did the collection of insanely talented Houston Astros players of Altuve, Bregman and Correa really need to resort to video subterfuge and the absurd banging on a trash can to achieve their great success? And even if they somehow foolishly thought that they would never get caught (in this age of technology and with so many in the know) didn’t the cheating tarnish their own perception of themselves and diminish the greatest “accomplishment” of their lives?
5. And lastly in the contentious world of politics how does one logically explain the enormous popularity of President Trump among a significant segment of the population? I recognize that people have widely different views on a host of political issues which is to be fully expected in the melting pot of America. I also understand that folks often merely vote for who they perceive to be “the lesser of two evils” or who they believe will take positions (or appoint judges) more in line with their views, regardless of their like or dislike for the candidate personally. But Mr. Trump is not merely tolerated as a “necessary evil” by most of his supporters but actually beloved by them, including by those who should logically loath the man.
For example, President Trump is widely worshiped by many religious folks even though he is not and has never been, by any reasonably objective account a religious man himself. More importantly, he has lived a life that differs radically from one ordinarily associated with someone imbued with “religious values.” There is no religion that I’m aware of that endorses affairs and hookers or a routine propensity to lie, cheat and steal. The Man has violated the majority of the Ten Commandments, yet somehow remains a hero to many of those who revere these tablets.
Mr. Trump is also very popular among many businessmen (though I suspect far less businesswomen). I get it that business folks love lower taxes and less regulation which Mr. Trump espouses, but it should also logically irk them that he gives good business people a bad name. Unlike presumably most of them, he made a considerable portion of his fortune in ways that were less than honorable – not paying his bills, workers or fellow businessmen and driving numerous companies into bankruptcy.
Of particular surprise to me, the President is adored by those in society who rail against lawyers, lawsuits and our “overly litigious” society. And yet Mr.Trump has employed more lawyers, filed more lawsuits and used the sword of threatened litigation more than any citizen in the United States that I know of.
And the President is especially loved by those Americans who despise immigrants, especially Mexicans and Muslim immigrants. Mr. Trump routinely questions immigrants’ work ethic and loyalty to our country and considers many, if not most, of them to be freeloaders, criminals and even terrorists. Yet, two of his three wives were immigrants, including the one currently in vogue, and four of his five children were birthed by an immigrant. Better yet, the person he recently put in charge of solving the most important role of our lifetimes (and trying to save his own Presidency) – finding a vaccine for the COVID-19 virus – is none other than a Moroccan born-Arab!
Finally, there are our great men and women in uniform on this Memorial Day. Large numbers of the military (I suspect the great majority) have adoring affection for a guy who, unlike them, used his privilege to avoid their unselfish service to the country – even going so far as to fabricate a medical condition on one of of his feet (he can’t even remember which)!
I’m frankly bewildered by all of these illogical things. I think I will take that therapy now!
