60 Years On
My sixtieth year has just about ended and it has been quite a doozy.
It began 4300 miles from home in a city that I have always wanted to visit. After an overnight flight my wife and I arrived in Amsterdam early in the morning and spent the entire day just strolling around this amazing city of canals and bridges, dodging the bevy of bicycle riders, marveling at the wide diversity of people, languages and clothing worn (or not in the Red Light District) and taking in the intoxicating smells – the plethora of fragrant flowers lining the canals and the more than occasional whiff of marijuana that the city became famous for legalizing back when most Americans thought that was the craziest of concepts. Amsterdam is right up there with Paris and Vancouver as the most beautiful cities I’ve seen.
That evening we ate dinner outside at an awesome restaurant overlooking a canal. Soon another couple – attractive and pleasant enough but complete strangers – was seated at OUR table. So much for a private romantic dinner. That’s just how they did it in Amsterdam (at least in July 2019). We did the obligatory smile thing and engaged in some small talk. Turns out they were also foreigners, though regulars to Amsterdam: she from Germany and he from Florida – a couple that was not married but that gets together periodically for a rendezvous. It felt like a scene out of one of our favorite old movies “Same Time Next Year.” (Check it out if you get a chance.)
Upon advising our new dining friends that we were from St. Louis, the self-assured well-healed gentleman commented, “Well, you must be pretty happy then right now!” Could a guy half-way around the globe from Florida be referring to the fact that my favorite sports team in the niche sport of hockey had recently won the Stanley Cup after a 52-year agonizing hiatus? Sure enough yes! Indeed, his best friend just happened to once be the President of the St. Louis Blues and the two now worked together on a non-profit helping put thousands of underprivileged kids through college – just like close friends have been doing for decades in the Bay Area. Bizarre!
I naturally told him about my unparalleled passion for the Blues and my journey from Day 1 as an 8 year old through the single greatest sports moment in my life as a fan. I mentioned that I had even recently begun writing a book about the odyssey, though it didn’t have a name yet. And I told him about my bet at a Mississippi sports book back in January when the Blues stood 31st out of 31 teams in the standings and were listed at 300-1 odds to win the Cup. Without hesitation he declared: “Well, there you go, that’s the name of your book: 300-1.” Bingo! Aided by several drinks and a lack of sleep, I somehow forgot his name but while recently reflecting upon the anniversary of this memorable dinner I decided to try and track down the guy who gave my book its title and send him a copy and a thank you note. Thanks to technology I just found him.
After a few days in Amsterdam, we scurried off to Copenhagen and Stockholm for a few days each, also fantastic cities with incredible people (according to Forbes, both among the happiest folks in the world), culminating a truly spectacular trip which I would highly recommend to anyone. What a great start to my 60th year on this planet!
As I approach the end of my birthday year the world is needless to say in a very different place. In my six decades I have lived through a lot of crises from the Vietnam War to 911 and the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars, from Columbine to Sandy Hook, from gas lines to market crashes, from hurricanes to tsunamis and from Watergate to seemingly endless abhorrent racial injustice. I have largely been a spectator to these events shielded by age, privilege, skin color, location and just plain luck so that I have only endured the anger and angst of what has transpired vicariously.
But at no time in my sixty years has there been anything quite like this Coronavirus or Covid — words that were largely unknown on July 21, 2019 but are now carved in our collective lexicons forever. This virus has managed to make its way to every nation on earth and reach every nook and cranny of the globe without regard to the size, wealth, or political views of the country – from China to Chile, Mexico to Madagascar, New England to New Zealand, and Amsterdam to Australia. As of today nearly 15 million folks have been infected and over 600,000 have died from it. Despite all of the advantages we have in the U.S. (as the richest country on earth with the most medical and scientific resources AND WITH ADVANCE NOTICE of its dangerous propensities) about 4 Million of the infected are Americans – incredibly more than 25% of the total when we represent only about 4% of the world’s population! Moreover, despite all of the efforts and sacrifices that some have made to quarantine and encourage safety measures, cases have been increasing recently at an alarming rate with no clear end in site.
I suppose that there’s some comfort in knowing that this isn’t the first plague to hit humanity, even in the past century. The Spanish Flu in 1918 infected 500 Million people (one third of the world’s population at the time) and killed an estimated 20-50 million! (Interestingly, the Spanish Flu did not begin in Spain but most likely in the U.S. – apparently there was a desire to blame another country for our bad handling of the crisis. Sound familiar?) The Asian Flu in 1957-58 took more than 1 million lives, 10% of which were Americans. And just ten years ago the Swine Flu of 2009 infected over a million folks and killed several hundred thousand. We ultimately survived each of these, at least as a species. But beating Covid is a rather daunting task, especially when a whole lot of Americans seem pretty darn cavalier about the whole thing – going to bars, crowded beaches and rallies without masks, oblivious to the risk and the deadly history of viruses (at least until it affects them directly and kills them or a member of their family).
Aside from the sickness and loss of life, this global pandemic has placed an unprecedented financial burden on cities, states and countries and upon millions of individuals and businesses which I suspect will last long after the virus finally peters out. And it has affected our routine and lives in many other ways – schools, malls, office buildings, movie theaters, concert halls, and other mainstays of American society will never quite be the same.
As for the sports-obsessed folks among us, we have experienced a seismic shell-shock to our sports consciousness – nary a single pitch has been thrown, puck has been dropped, touchdown has been hurled, or three-pointer has been executed on the professional or collegiate level in the last four months. If someone had told me that would happen – short of the world coming to an end – I would have called them a witch or heretic and burned them at the stake (figuratively of course since I am against capital punishment, with one notable high-profile exception). That is scheduled to change in a few days – sounds exciting but seems risky and perhaps foolish.
But for every negative situation we are told to search for positives – the contrecoup to the coup. And despite all the change and upheaval and damage to jobs, social interactions, and the loss the most basic human connection of shaking hands or giving a hug, I have to say that there have been some real benefits to the crisis for me personally in the past year:
- Despite my new status as an elderly gentleman (I’m pretty sure that’s how many of the 30 and 40 somethings that I play tennis with see me, though the “gentleman” part might be a bit of a stretch), I may be in the best shape I’ve been in decades. I’m fitter, stronger and a healthier eater than perhaps ever before (though my experimentation as a high-fiber vegetarian for six weeks proved too onerous for my sensitive GI tract). That likely would not have occurred but for the the extra time available to work out and pay more attention to the food I consume.
- I’m pleased to report that I still have my hair. While it’s no longer red and is heavily greying, I have a lot more of it than at any time since college, thanks to my reluctance to go to a “hairstylist” during a pandemic. I feel bad for these folks but it’s hard to imagine a profession more apt to spread the virus than one where your job entails standing over and touching someone’s head for 30 minutes, face mask or not (well, aside from the “oldest profession”). But because of this virus I learned that my wife can cut hair and can actually do it quite well and save me time and $.
- I think I’m smarter than I’ve ever been. I know that’s not saying much and it could be that I’m simply more delusional since there are less people around to tell me I’m full of shit, but hey I’m running with it. In any case, any growth in that area is likely due to reading more books, watching more documentaries and listening for the first time to something called podcasts (which I’m told have existed since 2004!)
- I have also expanded my horizons occasionally in places that I am less comfortable. For example, I’ve never felt especially competent when it comes to technology or computers but was forced in light of the pandemic to teach my first college class on-line. There were many challenges along the way trying to get the process down; balancing lecturing with “screen sharing” while addressing questions in the “chat room,” dealing with an antiquated computer, and teaching students across the globe in different time zones, internet access, and levels of patience for this format. I watched with a mixture of annoyance and amusement as one student in California was tossing a ball with a family member during MY lecture. It reminded me of my rambunctious younger self, hurling around a pair of socks to other students in 6th grade class during a boring movie, trying to remain under the radar of the aging and dozing Mrs. Sundwick – I got nabbed.
- It was a fortunate birthday year from a family perspective as well. While there have been a few medical challenges during the year, my wife and children, our parents, siblings and their children have thankfully all made it through the year without a major calamity. Indeed, both of my parents had milestone birthdays during this year – my Mom turned 85 and my Dad 90 and both are about as mentally sharp as anyone their age. It’s not due to their diets, exercise routines, or positive attitudes, but mostly just the luck of having good genes.
- It’s been an especially stimulating year for Vinny, our golden (white) retriever. He has virtually never had to be alone since the pandemic began and we have spent a lot of time together – taking long walks, roughhousing and just hanging. We have bonded like superglue and he has become very well-trained. I think he’s ready for providing comfort to kids on cancer floors should he ever get that opportunity.
- I have spent more time with my wife this year than in any of the approximately 40 years that I have known her. It turns out that she’s a great person to spend goads of time with – upbeat, supportive, funny, loving, committed and very easy to get along with. Who knew? (Of course everyone!) If folks who know her were asked to pick someone other than their own spouse (or maybe even including their spouse) to be stuck with on a desert island for eternity, Gilligan’s Island style, I think she’d make quite a few lists. Aside from her dynamic personality and caring attitude, she’s a bleepin’ nurse as well as a health and wellness coach, and a master at Rejki and healing and touch. She can give CPR and the Heimlich with the best of them. And unlike me, she’s quite handy – she can figure out mechanical shit and even fix appliances. Did I mention she also cuts hair on the side? The woman is a human Swiss army knife!
- And with all this downtime, there has also been more opportunity for get down time. After all they don’t call us 60-year olds sexagenerians for nothing (though to be perfectly clear and for the preservation of my marriage, unlike me, my wife is not yet 60!)
While I doubt my 61st year (or any future year that I am fortunate to have) will match this rollercoaster year for surprise, growth and challenges, I think I’m ready for the next one. Bring it on!
